The Journey from Match to Meet Up

Online dating is our reality. In the US today, there are well over 40 million individuals using dating profiles to find a catch. That said, all of these 40 million daters have one main thing in common. They’ll all get a match and, when they do, they’ll have to respond. In this article, we’ll walk through tips, tricks, and recommendations to help you figure out what comes next after a match.

So where do I start? 

Set your expectations: While we all know that online dating requires patience, it’s also critical to set reasonable expectations. Not every match is going to be the one. Not every match will lead to a date. Not every match will even lead to an enjoyable conversation. What’s more? That’s okay! It’s all part of the process. 

Of 20 messages, you are likely to have 10 conversations. Of those conversations, maybe 1-2 dates. Remembering your odds can be a real asset in your happiness toolkit as you launch into online dating. It can also make it easier when men

Send a message: It’s never a bad idea to message first and remember, a message is ALWAYS the first step. If you’re interested in someone, there has to be a good reason. It’s time to rip off the band-aid. Start by reading through their profile to remind yourself why you matched in the first place. Once you see that there’s a common interest or shared music taste, you’ve found an opportunity to engage. 

If that feels too scary, just say “Hi”. Sometimes, the hardest part is feeling like you need to come up with some wit! Remember that just sending a message is enough. Cheers to you for putting yourself out there!

Tips for making yourself stand out:

Given that matches are a two way street, we wanted to also cover what to do when you don’t have the chance to message first. More often than not, matches will come up with one of a few main responses. “Hey” and “What’s up?” to name a few low-investment openers.

Our best advice here? Don’t get thrown off. Stick to what you know works. Highlight something specific from their profile that caught your eye or get excited over a common interest/hobby. When in doubt, don’t overthink and you’ll be fine! Check out Bumble’s additional advice in responding when you’re not given much to work with.

What are my options after we connect digitally?

• Should I switch to another messaging platform? 

1. 1. • We all know that checking messages across different platforms can be tricky. It might mean you’re more likely to forget your 
      • At what point do you ask and what do you ask for? 

• Should I propose meeting up in person?

1. 1. • Consider what your goals are. Are you ready to go on a date with this match? Do you feel the conversation will flow more naturally in person? 
      • If you’re ready to meet in person you can say something like, “I’m not great at the pen pal thing. Want to meet IRL?” This usually does the trick! It’s a playful way of sharing that you’re ready to meet up without making things too serious. 

• Should I like, comment, or follow my match on social media? 

1. • The best tactic is to put yourself in your match’s shoes. If they liked your IG post and sent you a follow request, how would you feel? 
   • Sometimes, a like, comment, or follow request can show your match that you’re really interested in their life and want to learn more about them. That said, be selective with which photos you interact with. Make sure that you’re representing yourself in your comments and likes while being respectful of their digital brand. 
   • As a general rule, we say it’s best to save the follow request until after that first in-person meet up.

Your match already sent the first message. Now what?

Given that matches are a two way street, we wanted to also cover what to do when you don’t have the chance to message first. More often than not, matches will come up with one of a few main responses. “Hey” and “What’s up?” to name a few low-investment openers.

Our best advice here? Don’t get thrown off. Stick to what you know works. Highlight something specific from their profile that caught your eye or get excited over a common interest/hobby. When in doubt, don’t overthink and you’ll be fine! Check out Bumble’s additional advice in responding when you’re not given much to work with.

Tips for turning a conversation into a date:

Establish your goals: What are you looking for? Knowing what you want can help you move forward with confidence! 

Be Specific: Name a time and a place. Pick a date in the near future. If they say that they’re busy, don’t let that deter you! Just propose another date or two to see what works. The worst thing you can do is say, “Okay. We’ll make it work another time”.  

Practice Safe Dating: It’s always good to be cautious! We all know not to share our passwords but there are other personal pieces of information to keep personal. Be thoughtful when sharing your phone number, your address, even work history details can be personally identifiable information if left in the wrong hands. 

Curious on tips for not messing up the match before a real first date? Contact our Portland date coach for a free consultation.